Daily Wagers’ pandemic

Sharing my latest poem with an important message to you all.

The pandemic is everywhere
It’s hitting people in different ways
A lot of us are lucky though to homestay
But think of those on daily wages
No food, no shelter vs virus; what’s worst for them?
Let’s help them by donating, it’s the least we can

The Covid-19 has hit India as well. Although I don’t live in India anymore but I would like to reach out to everyone to help the ones who are in need, the poor people, the daily wagers. No work, no food & no shelter. Thousands of daily wagers are migrating in massive volumes as they have no other choice. Such scenario can explode the pandemic.

The government of India is doing its best but unfortunately, they can’t fulfill all the needs just by themselves. I’m not doubting their ability but let’s face it, it’ll take time for them to reach out & plan everything. It’s here I’m requesting you to donate, whatever you wish to. Every single drop counts! Help them to help you…

Below are a few ways to donate:

https://pmnrf.gov.in/en/online-donation

https://www.fueladream.com/home/covid19-helping-daily-wage-labour

Stree Roshni Trust (you can find the trust on FB)
Current A/c No – 918020081791567
IFSC – UTIB0001362
Axis Bank
Swift code – AXISINBB or AXISINBB296

Gratitude & Much love 🙏❤️

Navin

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Loving & Living

I’m going through several different emotions, so I paint this picture with different shades.

The flow of blood, that’s streaming
The flow of air, that’s breathing
The percussions of heart, that’s beating
The thoughts of someone, that feeling

Butterflies
Connecting
Dancing
Dreaming
Healing
Shining
Sighing
Singing
Smiling
LOVING

But then the lightning struck in its own beautiful form
The shields are up to protect & push away ones own reflection
Everything changes in that very moment, pure deflection
The lungs inflate & deflate heavily in this painful reaction

Crying
Emptiness
Longing
Missing
Restless
Sighing
Tearing
Thinking
Sadness
LIVING

It feels like the heart is burning in the ice cold furnace
Phrasing phase to face requires enormous courage
But this crazy love won’t disappear from the core & its blood surface
Love is the heart of this beautiful, light & dark universe

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Rocking Emotions

It’s my way of sharing some of my favourite rock songs, that are quite relatable to me. Blurry, broken, wrong, pain, red, numb, sacrifice, never too late are some of them – what can I say more, do I need to explain?

My vision has become so Blurry 

Coz I feel Broken inside

I’m one of those Heathens from the suicide squad

Who always ends up doing something Wrong

Even though I’m ready to offer the blood of My Sacrifice

The Pain I suffer in going through this all

When my right side of brain bleeds The Red

The left arm & hand become so Numb, I feel so sick

I still don’t know What I’ve Done

But I know somebody has stolen my heart just like that Car Radio

I just wish My Immortal will leave me alone one day 

I’m doing everything to Bring Me To Life

To relive the Sweet Child O’ Mine

Coz it’s Never Too Late

To feel Alive once again

References:

Blurry

Broken

Heathens

Wrong

My Sacrifice

Pain

The Red

Numb

What I’ve Done

Car Radio

My Immortal

Bring Me To Life

Sweet Child O’ Mine

Never Too Late

Alive

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Loosing It

I’m spitting fire these days – shocked, confused & angry thoughts. I got hit below the belt, from a person, I thought was a friend. So I’m expressing how I feel by talking to myself.

I can feel I’m about to loose it
I’m still shaking inside but I’m about to shake everything
The emotion in me I’m gonna screw it
I’m about to change from missing it to mess it
Don’t come near me covered in gasoline, I’m gonna burn it
I’m a ticking bomb, so I might fuse it

I can’t take it anymore, it’s so abusing
I feel so mental, it shouldn’t have ended like this
I don’t get a lot of things, it still amuses me
One thing is for sure, I’m lost coz it’s still so confusing
I got hit below the belt & I don’t deserve this
I’m totally at different level now, so don’t try to play with me

I never said or meant those things, coz it never came out of my mouth
It was only about this virus but it seems I’m that virus spreading in your body
It’s too late now, just don’t try to figure me out
Coz it’s me this time, who’s letting myself out
I’m already gone, I know I won’t be missed at all

The thoughts are speeding in my head with the bleeding images
I’m in the mood to do maximum damage
The ignition is on & I’m on the rampage
I’m moving on this crazy path of total & sickening rage
I’ll crush everything, which stands in my way
So start moving away from my track before it’s too late
I’m talking in my head with my own brain, it’s so deranged

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Coming for You

I’m sharing my poem no. 100. A bit different kind, ready to burn everything in this fantasy poem, which I very seldom write.

I’m coming for you & your bloody devilish mates
So you must start running as fast & faraway as you can
Before I start moving to you & catch you with my bare & strong hand

I’ll reach you & will find you, even if you hide in your secluded den
I can see, the demons are sitting with you as your very cool mates
But I’ll burn them all in a split second with this lazer sharp flame

If you won’t give up, then I’ll lock the heavy gates of this haunted place
If I have to, I’ll hammer your hands with long & sharp nails
If you still try to run, I’ll chain you with the heavy steel rings

I’ll snap your hand just like that little twig, so you can feel so much pain
Just stop running from me, else I’ll chop your legs with these sharp & edgy blades
I’ll cut your whole body into small pieces just like I cut wind & waves

You got to taste your own dark shade of bitterness as a pretty tasty snack
You can’t escape anymore from your own bloody fate
So stop dropping the sickening stories from your own filthy slate

You’ll find me everywhere coz I’m a part of you, I’m your crazy phase
Be real infront of me, just stop painting your own face
I’m simply writing a fantasy poem & it’s neither about the hurt nor hate

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Carnage

I’m sharing my 100th WordPress post – poem no. 99. I had never thought that I would write so many poems, when I first started writing my very first poem in Jan 2017. It has become my passion now.
Expressing myself through poems is not only therapeutic but they also show my different shades, what I realize & how I see the things, how light & dark play an equally important role in my life. I don’t see dark as something negative coz it leads me to the light as well. From my own poem (Darkness – The Intense Light) – “Would you lit the light if things were always bright?”

The clear sky is covered with dark & heavy clouds
The moon is shining while the clouds in heaven are flying around
The roaring sound from skies is throbbing my veins as it’s so loud
Soon the clouds will break loose heavy tears on this uneven & lonely ground

My heart is burning & eyes are leaking as I become restless
The water is reaching above my crazy head
It’s slowly choking me, I’m feeling very suffocated
I’m about to hit the panic button, the brain is loosing blood
Everything about me has changed, it’s about to flood

I feel stuck sometimes coz I simply can’t comprehend
Keep loosing & breaking things, when I hold them with my left hand
If I don’t focus on the things, the brain would forget & then I feel so frustrated
It seems like I’m still lacking in real acceptance of this sickened sickness

Everybody around me thinks that I’m a fighter with crazy amount of strength
But there are times when I’m weak & drained coz I can’t even hold my own stance
People do tell me the progress takes its time when it’s haemorrhage
But every now & then, I become crazy anxious & loose my patience
It’s my inner battle & I don’t expect anyone to understand

But all I know is, I’ll keep putting my effort
I’ll be working on me no matter what
I might crack but I will not break
And one day I’ll get the tactile sensation back

But my crazy mind does plays tricks with me, where I feel like the freaking beast
I’m trying to come out of such situations coz I’m becoming a total wreck
Every particle of my body is turning into an absolute carnage
The tiny explosions in me could change me into a handful of ashes

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Disappear

The words in me are flowing like crazy. So I’m spitting poems like dropping bombs on my own dark field.

So I’m lying down on my bed right here
While I hear my thoughts in my own ears
Oh dear, it’s crazy to listen to my song of fears
If it keeps playing in my ears, I’ll surely be in tears
If you wish to feel what’s going on with me
You need to take the hot seat in my brain to understand this
My brain is burning with thoughts & is bleeding ink

A few questions are playing constantly whenever I go to sleep
Why is it so difficult to accept the new me?
Why do I gaze at the dark skies & then I scream?
Why am I having this desperate craving to see the unseen?
Why am I longing for the things that can never be with me?
Why am I feeling lonely as if nobody is here?
Why am I run over by anxiety that I start breathing heavily?
Why am I dreaming so crazy with no sleep?
Why the feeling to disappear from this manic scene?

This life of mine in this moment appears so steep
Trying to think deeply without my sharp memory
The creepy feeling of crawling on my own skin
I’m loosing my balance but still I’m walking with crazy speed
Feeling frustrated, so everything is changing to this bloody scene
The demons are hammering & breaking the inside of me
The heart beat has transformed to this tainted beast
The music in my ears has now changed its beat
So I would rather disappear than to be here
You can no longer see me coz I’ve disappeared from me

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

The Beautiful Souls & A Crazy Mind

I’m sharing my new poem, which I wrote last night, quite late, as I felt the words in me & I had to write them down right away. The stressful situation at home with everyone in the family – quite swamped.

The level of stress is too high
It doesn’t take a lot before everyone gets emotional & then the cry

This all started from the time back then
When I got hit by the bleeding in my damn brain

I see it every day how they react & act
It doesn’t take a whole lot to see them & myself crumble like a house of domino set

A small discomfort in him & he looses his cool
The whole house upside down the next moment coz he feels the world has turned against him & is so cruel

Now this other one is very sensitive & stressed out in his own way
He cries quite often these days & he keeps opposing me whatever I do or say

She’s trying her best to take the burden on her shoulders
But the threshold is crazy high, so she starts slowly to smoulder

She’s the other pillar of this beautiful home
She needs me coz it’s almost impossible to bear everything on her own

I’m going through a lot with my things as well
The feeling to isolate myself to find peace in that deep well

It’s not that I play insensitive or blind
I do sense things but I’m going kinda crazy in my own weird mind

I know if I fall apart once again
This sacred house will shatter into pieces, end of the game

So I try to calm my crazy mind & frozen nerves
It’s not easy though, I know how it is when body starts to burn

But no matter what, I give my words, I won’t give up
They’ve gone through a lot, it’s time to hit the switch, to brighten up

They need space, kisses & hugs from time to time
I’m here for them, it’s the end of this soulful ryhme

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Firing Shots

Another not feel good poem because that’s my present state of mind. I can’t drink alcohol due to epilepsy, which is perhaps a good thing. I want to simply forget everything by being drunk, even though it’s running away. Don’t we sometimes need to run from ourselves?

I’m firing shots at my brain
Planning to play the refrain
The need to repeat to regain
The need to change the savage to a sage
The need to restrain the rage from my brain
To stop my mind to be insane
Coz I don’t want to end up on the operative scene

The sudden desire to find some strong alcohol
To drink & dance away the pain on some new melodies & some old
To kill the kill spot from the top zone
To block the worry from the contacts to make it unknown
To loose myself completely by being not so cold
It’s dragging me down to this deep & dark hole
But it’s not possible to drink coz I’m stuck with taking this crazy epilepsy dose

The thoughts I need to picture
The theme I sketch, looks like a clipart
The things I tell myself to make it visual
I need to make biggger changes to redesign & to restructure
I need to heal the inner space to build this stable fixture
I might burn a bit of me from the sparks through friction
But I must do it anyway, coz life ain’t no fiction

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Healing Soul

I’m snapping on my family quite often. So many misunderstandings, my ego is coming in my way – thinking of myself only. I’ve started isolating myself more often, when in reality it wasn’t about giving space. My wife wanted me to be there for her & for the family, which I didn’t understand as I was so much soaked in my own self.

Thoughts were racing in my head
Surrounded by misunderstandings coz I was so afraid
The pain looked like that cool piercing in my brow
Snapping on near & dear ones with that insane flow
Loosing my head as if I were about to sink & permanently drown
Blinded by ego & emotions as if I were that king wearing the diamond crown

I thought I was giving space, so people could cope up with their issues
But I was crushing them into pieces, to make place for my deep tissues
How could I be so self-centered by being eccentric?
How could I be so cool & calm by being frantic?
At times my top shelf was crumbling to cheap dust
My demons were shutting me down with deep cuts
I was trying to run away from myself on a paper-thin crust

I was living half alive, blinded by this all
But now, I’m listening to your enchanting melodies, the sweet songs
I’m learning to rise to my feet when I fail & fall
You’re healing me spiritually, you’re healing the sores
I’m spreading my wings slowly to raise my spirits to soar
You live in me, you live in my core
I’m so close to you coz you’re my soul

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020