This Animal is Back

This is a poem about the wild animal in me, who’s attracted to another “animal” – the rage mixed with pain and sensuality mixed with deep & raw side of me. Have you never felt like this animal?

I’m finally back after almost a month’s break. I was busy updating my site with the help of DebbySEO. I won’t be exaggerating if I say Debby is very professional, knowledgeable, very kind & always ready to help. Please do check her blog.

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Warmzone

It’s like when things become difficult from time to time, when I burn extra energy to focus on simple things, whether it’s fixing, cooking, carrying a tray or cycling, the mood crazily shifts & swings – feeling of frustration & anger pops up. Because it’s still difficult to accept a few things, even though it’s my new reality. It doesn’t mean it would be easier to go with the flow without struggling. It doesn’t mean either things aren’t moving. I’ll keep on fighting & pushing my limits as that’s the only way.

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Drop-dead

Things might be happening at a slower pace. I might not be the horse of some derby race. It might even seem, I’m standing very still, I could be taking 2 forward & 1 backward step. Learning the old things in a harder & newer way, knowing the newer things in a cooler way. I’m quite certain, I moving every moment steadily.

Zipping my lips softly after sipping my warm cup of coffee
Closing my eyes gently to feel the different energies in my body
Smelling the scents mindfully to find the right sense of spirituality

Following my instinct while I walk on my ground with thoughts bare naked
Surrendering to the surroundings full of doubtful dots & weakened bridges
Letting myself to let loose different shades on the surface of delicate red petals & thorny edges

Everything changes instantly into this beautiful universe from the perforated form of my pinching topshelf
The ripples in my tubular vessel start dancing when I cast the stone while I slide sideways
The vibrations of this vibrant reality is multiplied when I see these pictures from the sound of my heart beat

I keep on rising up to raise my bars to unlock myself from my inner locked cage
I fall freely on the heavy grounds, as if I’m trapped inside those tiny droplets
I feel like a raindrop, that gives life when it bursts & dissolves in the ground, it’s simply drop-dead

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Fly Freely

It’s the first time, I’ve used a part of the excerpt of my last poem “Surrender”, as it resonates so much with my present.

It’s like knowing the perfect recipe to heal
But I keep struggling to cook it to perfection, is what I truly feel
It’s just not the same story on auto-repeat
Snapping from time to time on my loving family
When I loose my patience & forget how to evenly breathe
Everything explodes in that moment into pieces with just a simple breeze
The photo collage on my real & tainted screen
Keep changing constantly from the shallow to the deep
As if I’m digging my own grave on my ground to hide in eternity
It’s driving me to the drive-in of pure insanity
Making me to cry, roar & then scream crazily

The love from my caring friends & loving family
The knitted meetings with the neuro psychologist weekly
Those amazing physio & ergo therapies from professional therapists
The great understanding & patience from my work colleagues
This compelling effect is pulling me out of my hell & anxiety
Building the mental & physical strength to supersede the weaker me
It’s setting “the uptight me” to the flames firely
Let me be & let me breathe before I dive from the top to fly freely
Is the mantra that I need to say to my-I quite frequently
This is how I live this life these days from the heart that’s beating the beads
I’m simply learning to heal the daunting dots inside & on top of me

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Surrender

It’s like knowing the perfect recipe to heal, but keep struggling to cook it to perfection, is what I truly feel. The pictures on my real & tainted screen, keep changing from shallow to the deep, before everything explodes with just a simple breeze, where I loose my patience & forget how to evenly breathe, it’s just not the same story on auto-repeat. This is what happening in real life to me, this is how I these days actually live.

“Just let it go
Don’t hold on to it
Accept the new situation
Keep healing yourself”

Believe me, I know this all
I’m trying to be that whole
But I’m bleeding ink through these holes
As if I’m about to loose my breath & my soul

Immaterial things agitate me to the core
Improper actions are creating infections that sore
Immortal is my rage when I become the evil raw
Imbalanced energy in me is shaking everybody & even more

The feeling of sharp nails pierced in my head
Just before when I get the sensation of not being really heard
Brings forth the crazy moment to detonate my mind into pieces to spread this hurt
And turn whatever I’ve built mindfully into the cloud of dust

I know, inner healing takes its form in the course of time
But what if everything comes to an end while I bleed out every coarse of mine?
What if my screen break loose my hell & there’s no ocean to cry?
What if the scene gets darker while I keep destroying everyone’s life?

So I sit still on the bench in my garden & start to ponder
What’s happening to me & why am I doing these blunders?
Why is my heart causing lightning after the roaring thunder?
That moment I learn, I’m still learning to walk this path to unconditional love & to surrender

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Freestyle Roar

When I can’t see the true divine, hiding behind the laser lines. I’ve found out that heavy epilepsy medicines can cause mood swings & anger in my mind, the feeling from time to time & it’s multiplying. Just like bleeding wasn’t enough to imply, crazy rhyme, roaring freestyle.

My sky is shifty & I’m about to freestyle on my floating cloud
Inhale this air & exhale my lungs out
Shatter windows to break open my crazy house
Stand on my reckless ground, than to be a part of the senseless crowd
I’m wearing the dark shades & ready to slit anything with my sword

I’m loosing my balance & my head is twisting spirals
The blood vessels in my brain is about to explode the red coloured diamonds
The demon in me is monstrous & spitting fire
I’m about to hit everything with my ice cold desire
Hide yourself instantly to avoid the consequences dire

This thick red flowing in my body is dark & savage
Don’t come near me if you can’t handle my burning rage
You better engage your senses, to avoid your name engraved
I feel stuck inside my wounded brain as if I’m doomed & caged
Everything seems shattered from here, not everything can’t be salvaged

You see, my skin ain’t so thick, so I won’t take it with ease
Just don’t try to pinch my surface, I’ll then play you like a twig
Stop clicking my clicks, if you don’t wish me to come after you with my fits
Stop throwing those bricks coz I’ll then break every single one into tiny pieces
It seems as if I’m feeling sick & crazy, but I’m simply trying to look for the inner peace

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

Your Eyes

How eyes can show the truth, even though one tries to hide the burning ocean, everything is crystal clear, if you look deeper into them.

I can see in your beautiful, big & deep eyes
How you’re feeling, your eyes can never lie
I can sense the restlessness in you & the whole is crying
The deep ocean is red-blue-green & is crazily sighing

Every teardrop is creating symmetrical ripples
Your ocean is sending waves to the heaven
The nature of your heavenly body is pure & heathen
Just like the universe in its own beautiful way is healing

You don’t need to say a single word, you must know
Your eyes are bleeding every word, they know every bit of you
The desire to dive deep to reach your bottom, before I hit the very shore
To catch my breath, to meet your divine & to see your beautiful core

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020

The T-Tour

Inspired by WildHeart, a fellow blogger, I’m writing a tautogram poem – a different style with meaningful words to me, which I’m expressing differently, that I’m scribbling instantly.

Throttling the twisted thoughts
Trespassing the traumatic top
Trekking through the thirsty throat
Teardropping these teasing thorns
Tearing the toughened turf
Throwing the tainted timid throne

Thrusting through the tangible tangent
Trusting the tremendously tranced treasures
Thriving these timeless twinkling therapies
Treating the tactless tender trees
Thickening this to transcendental transparent thin
Thanking the true transpiring transformation thing

NAVIN’S POEMS © 2020